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Catharsis by ~Coidzy:iconCoidzy:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open


Flicker, twitch
Flicker, twitch

Metal clinks from hand to hand,
dancing as it sparks

flash, flame
flutter, falter
Die.

Crumpled, torn mass unfurled,
Smoothed.  a pause.

Memories catch in throat,
a shudder escapes,
Tears are denied.

flash, flame
flutter, falter
Die.

Page by page, remembers, reads
Pouring over every jot

And Her Smell – Damnit all!
a hint of Heaven on the page…
And garbage.

flash, flame
flutter, falter
Die.

Fist squeezes, leaves palm
imprinted, burning hot
eyes shut out rage,
see through to the End,
only that will suffice

Flicked thumb again opens metal maw
“My Everything, In Awe of My All,”
rush of fire unleashed in hunger
sheets afire, hands let feeling go

flash, flame
flutter, falter
Dead.

an offering to heaven, the blackened hell falls.

a clink closed, back turned on the deed,
walks, exeunt stage right.

Now: how to live free?
©2008-2009 ~Coidzy
:iconcoidzy:

Author's Comments

Just something I wrote up in memory of a vignette idea I never acted upon back during a short-story writing class. Mostly thanks to Freaky Cheese Mensch (:iconfreakycheeseman:) who told me not to write about such things close to home. Especially since it was a rather silly little narrative focused on a manuscript that the poet originator could no longer stand the sight of.

Essentially an exploration of a path not taken during High School.

Updated Thursday, May 08, 2008, Noontide

Some concerns my writing group had with clarity were hammered out, after about a week of on and off tinkering with it. Cleaned up and the stanzas have been divorced in many a place...

Is Fire Cleansing? Or just Voracious?

Vivacious? ;P

Comments


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:iconposhu:
~Poshu Apr 14, 2008, 5:19:42 PM
hmm... intense... I like.

--
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

:steaming::sarcasm::thanks::no::nirvana::constipated::dead::nod::nana::giggle::disbelief::giggle::nana::dead::nirvana::no::wtf::thanks::sarcasm::steaming:
:iconcoidzy:
~Coidzy Apr 14, 2008, 11:17:33 PM
Thanks. Also, that was pretty impressive how quickly you jumped on this.

Now if only I could figure out something better to say than "Fwumph" of fire

"gout" came to mind, as did "guttering," but those go more with the word flame than fire and I'm hesitant about overusing the word flame. Seeing as how it's both part of the refrain and describing the imprint left by the lighter in the palm....

--
Support The Arts Or Else!
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:iconhark-the-raven:
~hark-the-raven Apr 16, 2008, 8:19:35 AM
Fwumph works well in this context. An odd poem, but a good read.

The only think I'd change (and this is just a quibble-bibble) is the last line. I'd put a comma after "Now". I think the line calls for a pause there that requires a comma.

--
Stop it
:iconposhu:
~Poshu Apr 16, 2008, 6:24:50 PM
hmm... I thought about this all day... can't come up with anything...

--
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

:steaming::sarcasm::thanks::no::nirvana::constipated::dead::nod::nana::giggle::disbelief::giggle::nana::dead::nirvana::no::wtf::thanks::sarcasm::steaming:
:iconposhu:
~Poshu Apr 16, 2008, 6:25:07 PM
the "fwumph" word problem

--
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

:steaming::sarcasm::thanks::no::nirvana::constipated::dead::nod::nana::giggle::disbelief::giggle::nana::dead::nirvana::no::wtf::thanks::sarcasm::steaming:
:iconcoidzy:
~Coidzy Apr 16, 2008, 7:17:12 PM
Hmm, maybe, I'm still not sold on it. This is only compounded by this consternation I'm having with the asterisks around the fwumph. Since I didn't use them around any of the other sound effects.

Come to think of it, I don't think I've written a poem that wasn't odd.

No need to feel timid or bashful about it. I do benefit from the use of other sets of eyes after all. I mean, seriously, if it weren't for other people reading my stuff I'd never have realized I was having someone chisel something out of fluffy dream-clouds. A rather odd pairing of verb and object, one which I'm still thinking about how to rectify, actually. So yeah, I ain't perfect.

Plus I agree, especially since I was writing that line with a pause in mind. Hell, I even included the pause when I was thinking it over aloud.

--
Support The Arts Or Else!
*Emotional-Writings More macabre than emo
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:iconcoidzy:
~Coidzy Apr 16, 2008, 7:23:48 PM
Indeed, it does seem to be a point of consternation as well as contention.

Ah well, I'll just kidnap the first person to complain about it until they help.

--
Support The Arts Or Else!
*Emotional-Writings More macabre than emo
~literatureODD Daily Lit spotlight
*VisualLit Check it out, collaboration via interpretation
:iconposhu:
~Poshu Apr 16, 2008, 8:42:58 PM
ooh a kidnapping! Can I poke them?

--
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

:steaming::sarcasm::thanks::no::nirvana::constipated::dead::nod::nana::giggle::disbelief::giggle::nana::dead::nirvana::no::wtf::thanks::sarcasm::steaming:
:iconcoidzy:
~Coidzy Apr 16, 2008, 10:14:51 PM
Maybe, what'cha gonna poke with?

(changed up the last line)

--
Support The Arts. Or Else.

Know Thyself.

*VisualLit Writers and Artists, Unite! ...or at least Collaborate!
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